Today I have the sincere pleasure of sharing a guest post from a dear friend of mine, Melissa Brotherton. I’ve known Melissa from school and church, and I’m also pleased to refer to her as a “blogging bud.” Enjoy!
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The number one question I hear as a mother of four small children is: “How do you do it?!” Whether I’m out grocery shopping with them on my own, or we’re out to dinner as a family with my husband, it never fails. And I get it! Everyday excursions are more difficult with a brood of children tagging along; but it doesn’t have to be impossible. You can have a life outside of your home!
Today I’d like to share with you the insights and tricks I have learned to enable me to look that grocery list in the eye, herd my children out the door and say, “Yes, I can go to Target!”
1. Preparation is key!
Upon arriving at the store, before I undo one car seat buckle, I run through “The List” with my kids.
- Do we run in the store? No!
- Do we hide in the shelves? No!
- Do we ask for everything we see? No!
- Do we throw fits? No!
Having set the ground rules, we finally leave the car. I don’t necessarily expect these boundaries to be maintained throughout the shopping trip. What this does is provide me with something to fall back on when they’re building diaper box forts as I search for that elusive coupon in my folder.
2. Acquire and maintain proper equipment
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but shopping carts only have one seat (unless you’re at Costco). Yes, I am aware of those behemoth shopping carts specially made for large families; I refuse to use them. This is a personal prejudice, not a standing rule. Have you ever tried to maneuver one of those giants through a store? The turn radius rivals that of a fully loaded dump truck. Plus, I suspect they have hidden hand weights in them. My theory is that the inventors think moms with large families are unable to workout; they are trying to help you get some exercise in during your shopping trip.
Suffice to say, we use the “normal” person shopping carts. This then requires alternative containment devices for the non-seated children.
My two oldest are now (somewhat) able to walk quietly beside the cart; by this I mean that I spend 37% of my time reminding them to keep up, don’t touch, slow down and stay off the cart. There are times that I have utilized a harness, which some people refer to as a leash. Luckily, if you forget yours at home, Target has them for sale in the baby section. What child doesn’t want to walk around with a cute stuffed monkey, bear, or doggy on their back? Don’t worry that you will get dirty looks for “walking” your child; I’ve only ever received positive responses in my six years of using them.
For the baby, I use an infant wrap/carrier. The benefit here is that frequently he falls asleep while we’re shopping, which gives me an excuse to wander the aisles longer. I want to let him get a good nap; parenting is all about sacrifice.
Of course, what usually ends up happening is I carry the baby in the wrap, the 2-year-old is in the cart, and the older two are hanging off each side. This development always ends in stares from strangers and the required “You’ve got your hands full” comment.
3. Bribes are not evil!
Target is a wonderland of necessary items. Anyone who is able to walk out with only the items they had on their list is a hero in my eyes. If it’s that difficult for adults, imagine the temptation it affords for the young.
Enter the Icee. Our second stop upon entering the store (we’ll get to the first in a moment), is the snack counter. Three small Icees ensure me 15 minutes of peaceful shopping as my kids slurp, shake and suck every last drop of slushy goodness from those paper cups. And it only cost $4.
4. Set priorities
How many times has this scenario happened to you? Having made your way to the back of the store, your cart half full of cleaning products, diapers and children’s clothes, when you hear,“Mommy, I have to go pee-pee…so bad!”
Suddenly you’re on a race against time to get to the front of the store, praying the family restroom is unoccupied. Unpurchased merchandise in the restroom is a no-no, so you unload the kids from the cart, forcing you into the neverending “don’t touch the toilet, walls, floor” battle as you try to unbutton toddler pants, wipe bottoms and hold your purse – why is there no hook or shelf in that restroom?!
I have learned: potty trips take priority! As soon as we enter the store, I load my children in the cart/carrier/harness and we head to the family restroom. Everyone goes, whether they need to or not. This is no guarantee an emergency urge won’t strike at some later point, but it does better your odds.
There you have it! Four foolproof ways to ensure a successful shopping trip with your children. To recap: prepare, equip, bribe and prioritize. Of course, I forgot to tell you my #1 tip:
Leave the kids at home.
When Melissa is not traipsing her way through her local Target, she is wiping bottoms, counters and floors as a stay-at-home mom to her four small children. She is a full-time wifetary to her husband of ten years, and still somehow finds time to maintain her blog at http://melissabrotherton.com. You can also find her on Twitter (@Melissa_Rae).
Photo credit Jose Torres
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my goodness–I love your tips! I have 2 boys, 4 and 7, and I have always avoided taking them out shopping because it’s so stressful (and takes approximately 3.5 times as long to get things done). I’m definitely trying the slurpee trick next time. You’re my hero! (And thanks, Angela, for sharing your blog space for these ideas!)
I remember a time when I could pick up my purse, walk to the car and drive away. Now it takes me 15 minutes just to gather all the bags, sippys and accessories, herd them to the car like ducklings and buckle 15 different straps. Haha! Everything takes so much longer.
Sometimes I even use the icees as incentive to get them to the car sooner.
Hope it works out for you!
And, yes, Angela, thank you for opening up your space to me. I’m honored.
I started laughing from the title on!
The bit about the Costco carts being designed for a workout could be in a stand up routine.
I’ve tried various methods to keep my two boys in line, and although they are mostly decent at this point, I only do the simplest trips possible with them-I would never attempt any kind of Catalina/coupon/buy 10…whatever run with them along, because I get distracted and screw it up Every Time.
Thanks for this post, Melissa, and thanks for sharing it, Angela. It was a treat!
I won’t lie, I had so much fun writing this. When I read that part to my husband for his critique I was laughing so hard I couldn’t get the words out. Glad to find that I’m not the only one who thinks I can be funny.
Thanks, Maegan.
Don’t forget to give the kids something ‘important’ to do. My son, 7, likes to put things in the cart and help me find things on the shelf. If I have a good detailed list, I’ll even give him a list of things he has to find.
Even little ones can help with that stuff, and when doing grocery shopping, its easy enough to write down a simplified list of ’4 apples, one bunch bananas, one box Cheerios” etc, or even a drawing of what you need if the child doesn’t read yet.
It does take longer, but you have to look at it as more than just shopping. It’s teaching your children – how to behave, how to shop frugally (why we use coupons, look for sales, etc). If you wait until you think your child is old enough to ‘learn’ this stuff, they won’t know how to act in a store.
My good friend had a horrifying experience when she took her nephews (6 and 4 at the time) to the store with her own 4 kids (yes, that made 6 kids 6 and under with her) and her 4 kids were well behaved, but her nephews could not recall the last time they were in a store and had NO CLUE how to behave. Their parents just NEVER took them shopping because of the ‘stress’ and ‘hassle’ of it.
Sorry for such a long comment – but it’s just a way of saying GOOD JOB! for actually taking your kids shopping with you.
I think you make a good point, and one that I agree with.
The only way your kids are going to learn is by TAKING them with you! I recall the early days taking our kids to restaurants. It was a nightmare & oh so stressful. But little by little, they’re getting better. They are coming to understand what “good restaurant” behavior looks like (even though they aren’t 100% perfect). I don’t think you can teach those things at home quite the same way.
I knew we’d done something right when we were recently praised for our kids’ good behavior in a restaurant. Well, maybe that waiter was hoping for a bigger tip…. but hey, I’ll take the compliment!
I love how Melissa said…you’ve got to just get out & make it work.
I completely agree with you, Diana. My daughter likes to have her own “coupons” to shop with. At our grocery store they have miniature carts for the little kids. It’s not unusual to see me with my cart and two of my children with their own following behind me. They love to help, and it can make the trip go so much smoother.
Thanks for sharing that!
Thanks so much for sharing Melissa, and Angela for allowing her to post this. I have my one and only 4 month old at home, but am already preparing the days of, “Can I have this…please, please, please?” and “I have to go pee pee now!” I love learning tools to use in the future for him and if we have any other children. Thanks again!!
Such a good post! I’m still on a never ending journey of figuring out how to do it with 3, but I’m slowly learning. The immediate trip to the bathroom is so simple, but so genius! Sometimes I get so focused on the task at hand that I forget the little things like that but I will be implementing this technique STAT!
I’m fortunate that I have a 6 year old (7 on saturday) who is really into helping me with our little 4 month old girl. She is finally tall enough to see clearly over the stroller so I asked her if she would want to push little baby in the stroller while I put the 15 month old (wild boy) in the cart. She was super excited at the suggestion and did a surprisingly excellent job!
I love your bit about the ever controversial “leash”. I’m not going to lie. I was one of those awful women who would raise an eyebrow when I saw them. I just didn’t get it. Now that I have 3 I totally get to eat my slice of humble pie. I still haven’t bought one, but my 15 month old has me very tempted to.
Again~ WONDERFUL post. Love the honesty and humor. Made my day
Hey, sis!
I too think it’s easy to judge other parents…UNTIL you are a parent yourself. I used to think “what’s up with that mom?” when I’d watch a kid have a fit in a store. Now, I’m more apt to think, “that poor woman!” and flash her an encouraging smile or ask if I can help!
I think that is true even after you’re a parent. I always try to keep in mind that I have no idea what that person is dealing with, because I am finding that despite the fact I’ve had 4 kids I’m still having to learn new tricks. Every kid is different and what works with one might not work with the next. And somedays…none of the tricks work at all. That’s when it’s best to just lock the doors and hide in the bathroom. Haha!
Very true! The other thing I’ve realized from having friends with children that may have delays or autism is be careful not to judge. That seven year old throwing himself to the floor and throwing a 2-year old style fit or otherwise behaving oddly may NOT be the result of bad parenting! Sorry to take the convo in a different direction, but I wanted to point that out. You never know what’s going on at home or in that child’s life.
Both of my boys are very tall for their ages, so people automatically think they’re older than they actually are (and I’m sure wonder why they’re acting like “little” kids), so thanks for that reminder too!
I always forget how close in age our oldest are. Eli is definitely a major help on shopping trips…when he chooses to be.
And I would sincerely recommend the harness (are you thinking about the hyper-hypo skit from SNL like I am). Ezra is 2-1/2 and he wears his around the house at home just for fun. He loves it. They call the leash a “tail.” Haha!
This is wonderful! And kudos to you for pointing out that the way that children learn how to behave in situations is (gasp!) by actually experiencing those situations. Over. and over. and over.
My kids (3 1/2 and 5 on Saturday!) have it down to a science. Cart. Potty. Health and beauty, eggs, dairy. One trip down a toy aisle if they’ve been good so far. Frozen, pets, cleaning supplies. Walk by the fish, if we’ve been good. Dry goods. Bakery for a free cookie, if we’ve been good. Produce and meat. Look at the lobsters, if we’ve been good. Self check-out, so everyone has something to help with. Sure, it takes well over an hour, but my daughter keeps a running inventory of the yogurt, fruit cup, and cereal coupons I have now, so she can watch to see if something she likes is on sale.
LOL!! I love this part “look at the lobsters, if we’ve been good.”
It’s amazing what can be a “treat” for kids, without having to spend a dime. Good reminder!
Great reminder! See, I learned a new trick.
Great post! I tried shopping with my kids this weekend (mother of 5) and it was hectic and beneficial all at the same time. We make a day of it on Saturday to do all o f the match ups and gathering all of the coupons we are going to use. I use a white board for my 11 yr old to write what we need and what we are actually shopping for. As an incentive- I ill use things like Betty Crocker Gushers or Trident Gum and I get those things for them.
When we are in the store, I have one hold my list and read it out, loading the shopping cart, and another one gather all the coupons. Then we stand there and estimate the savings and it is so fun. Kind of like a family outing. My oldest loads the car and we are off to take it home and post on facebook what we saved and take pictures and add to the stock pile.
Just wanted to sher that with you about my little helpers.
I can’t wait for the day that I’m able to do this with mine! Thank you for giving me hope for the future, Kimeree.
You nailed the HUGE shopping carts..they are horrible!
I agree why can’t they make something better?
My son is 9 and we still have some of these issues so I completely hear you! I have started making sure that he goes to the bathroom before we leave wherever we are or right when we get somewhere because I hate making the mad dash too!
I just have to add that I think it’s so funny how prominently the potty figures in the planning. I now know the location of every bathroom in every store in town.
Did you ever go to the bathroom at Safeway before you had kids?
I know I didn’t!
you had me cracking up. i have 6 kidlets and my oldest is 17 and my youngest just turned one. i used to get the nastiest comments from my oldest son’s harness. (this is before they looked like cute stuffed animals).
i would like to say the boys get better with age, but unfortunately, they just start sounding like little men. “how many items are you going in for?” “how long is this going to take?”
answer.. i will get what ever i feel like, and if you dont watch it, i will go down every ailse!
My six year old is already there. Haha! I love your threat.
Great post! I loved the humor in this less than humorous task. My aunt recently shared her shopping tip with me. Buy a corndog from the deli when you first get to the store. This will also buy you about 15 minutes of good shopping. I have three boys 6, 4, and 1 and it works beautifully! I wish I’d known about it earlier.
Another great idea! Thanks so much, fellow moms!
Great post! I’m still laughing!
Awesome guest post!! I loove this one!! My husband is deployed and I have a 6 month old and a 21 month old and I try to get them out of the house as much as possible.. which of course, as a couponer, usually means RiteAid, Target, or Albertsons. I swear I have yet to get through just one shopping trip without hearing that “you’ve got your hands full comment” as I traipse around with the baby in the carrier and the toddler on my hip. If it’s like that for me, then you and all the other moms with three or more, or heck, even just the equivalent of my two kids to herd through the store, are my hero!!
Talk about heros! What you and your husband are sacrificing for our good cannot even compare. Thank you!
We actually go to Target to eat about once a week after our nearby storytime. My daughter likes the chicken nuggets and I like that they are baked, and come with carrots or apples. (and they let me cut the caramel off the apples right there at the register– I’m so mean!)
We often go to the Landing Target in Renton, and I have asked them why there is no hook in the family restroom. They didn’t know, and by the time I get home every time, I have forgotten to email… Maybe I will now
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