Me & Terry, riding the NYC Subway in 2010
Last Monday, the phone woke me up. It was early, and I was disoriented. Annoyed, I rolled back over and tried to go back to sleep. It was my son’s first day of summer vacation and this Mama was looking forward to sleeping in.
When the phone rang a second time, I couldn’t ignore it. I looked over at the clock and it was just past 6:00 am. It was probably my husband, headed off to work. What could be so important to disrupt my sleep?
I shuffled downstairs and took the call. “Ang,” he told me. “I’ve been rear-ended.”
I need to be honest with you, my first thought was not, oh my goodness, are you OK? My first, selfish thought was, crap. We just paid off this car and put a pretty penny into repairs not even two months ago. And now it’s smashed up? Go figure! And my next thought was also not so generous. It was, crap. It’s 6am and do I now need to wake up the kids so I can fish you off the highway somewhere? (Thank goodness for my friend Eric who found my rantastic post on Facebook and offered to help and was able to pick up my husband and deposit him safely at home for me.)
It was only after Terry told me he thought the car was totaled that I began to wonder exactly what kind of rear-ender this had been. Later that day, as we sat waiting to pick up our rental car did he show me the pictures and tell me the story. Apparently the car hit him so hard it took off the rear wheel of my husband’s car completely. Not only that, the other car actually went airborne, sailed past my husband’s car, and landed on its roof.
Seeing the pictures and hearing the story made me realize that the phone call I received that morning could have been a much worse one. I began feeling guilty about having been concerned about the car, which is replaceable, or the annoyance about having to possibly wake up the kids to get him. What I was left with was a huge dose of perspective. I suddenly was filled with gratitude that my husband was able to call and wake me up that morning to tell me he was in a wreck, but he was OK. Suddenly the prospect of having to replace a car and deal with insurance paperwork seemed less daunting.
This past week has had its stresses. My husband was unable to finish up some critical job-related training and there have been chiropractic appointments, phone calls with insurance representatives and paperwork. Also the frustration at finding a new car with the meager money we’re getting back. But I will say this: I appreciate my husband a little bit more this week – I find myself giving him extra hugs and kisses, pausing to watch him with our kids, and saying a prayer of thankfulness that God was watching over him.
Remember that in all of life’s ups and downs, that stuff is just that: stuff. But your family and friends – they are irreplaceable.
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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m so glad your husband is ok. And thank you very much for this post…I think we could all use a reminder like this every now and again. I hope that you are able to find another vehicle that suits your needs and budget soon.
Thank you for this! My train of thought would have been exactly the same as yours, and we need to be reminded of the things that really matter in life. Thank you for always making me think, and more importantly remember!
Me too. Isn’t it terrible we all think selfish like that? We are ALL guilty of it. Thank you, Angela, for being so open and honest with your readers. Thanks for getting real.
Yeah, definitely not easy to own up to my initial reactions here – but it’s good to know I’m not alone. We’re all a work in progress.
Thankful he was okay. I was reminded this twice last fall when both of our vehicles were totaled in 6 weeks time. I am so thankful for the safety of the vehicles we had purchased, and while insurance did cover, we find our budget a little tight in that we chose to upgrade a few years our vehicles to get even more safety features. I am so blessed those safety features protected my family both times, and never want to get that phone from my husband (twice) again.
Oh wow, how tough to deal with this sort of situation twice in such a short amount of time! Glad your husband is OK, too.
This is exactly what I needed this morning/afternoon! Some good reading, and a reminder to not sweat the small (okay maybe not so small) stuff.
So important to remember when we get caught up with shelf clearing and gas prices! Sometimes blessings can be disguised. So glad he is safe….thanks for making pregnant woman cry
What a great reminder, Angela!! Sometimes it takes something dramatic to remind us of that. Hope your hubby starts to feeling better!
Have you already accepted their offer on the price of your car? If not, find comparables in the area from ads, car dealers, etc. and submit to them what you feel the price should be. My sister was in an accident and they quoted a low ball price. She proved cars in the area were going for much higher and she was given a better price!
We did not accept their initial offer, we have not finalized, no, and are making a case for ourselves. Wish us luck – it’s been stressful.
Be patient. It took me two years to settle my case. I got an attorney for my accident (was hit by drunk driver). I settled out of court; I didn’t hire an attorney to get rich and didn’t want to go to trial to be money hungry. However, I did feel I should be reimbursed for wages for missing work, medical bills, rental vehicle cost, and the true value of my car. And, that is what I got. Again, it took 2 years. Don’t let the insurance company screw you over. Get an attorney.
also don’t close until all the medical is taken care of too..they will cover that as well
Wow. I read this one aloud to my Hubby and got a bit choked up while reading it. You are so right about our loved ones being what matters most, despite all the inconveniences of life. I am so glad Terry is safe. We will keep you guys in our prayers that all goes well with the whole post-accident paperwork/doctor’s appointment process and new car selection. Thanks for the reminder that life is full of so many blessings if we take the time to see them.
I know I’ve told you before, but I’m so glad he’s ok. Metal is easier to repair than bones are! Keep your chin up, friend. (And I needed this reminder, so thanks!)
I got in a car accident a few years back. An ambulance driver told me, there are two kinds of people in this world: people who have got in a car accident, and people who will. He said statistics shows almost every person in America will get in a car accident at some point in their life. The degree of the accident will vary, but it will happen to nearly all of us.
Good story, Angela! A car is just an item. Our family is our family forever! Great reminder that we all need to not value a vehicle so much as a prized possession. It is just “stuff!”
Thanks for the reminder, so glad that God protected your husband and that you have used your experience to help us all improve our train of thought:)
Oy. This reminds me so much of when hubby got t-boned on the way home from work. Car was a total loss, and insurance didn’t cover much. So glad Terry will be okay.
I looked for your blog on pickling that you has said you were going to start posting last Monday, this explains a lot about why I never found it….. But thank goodness your husband is OK! Great article and a great reminder about what’s important and priorities.
I actually did start the Love: in a Jar series as promised. However, the post wasn’t on pickling.
http://thecouponproject.com/2012/07/love-in-a-jar-salads-in-jars.html
Good Luck and I am so glad your hubby is okay! It makes me think of mine making the daily trip from Graham to Seattle to feed ours and how many nights he could be that statistic. Thanks so much.
Amen and glad your family is together and in tact… healthy and happy!!
In all fairness, I wouldn’t beat yourself up too bad over your reaction. After all, it was your hubby who called you, instantly you know he is ok so naturally you think about the car. If someone else had called and gave you the news, I guarantee you would have asked about him first, not the car. It certainly does help to reflect on our priorities and take things in perspective….I’m just sayin your reaction was natural and don’t be too hard on yourself. I don’t think anyone would ever believe you care more about “stuff” than your loved ones. Glad he’s ok!
glad to hear your husband was ok!
On the issue of a replacement car: take a look at Gene Pankey Motors in Tacoma. Good, clean used cars at reasonable prices. Also, some of the salesmen have been there 15 years!! They do not hustle you and are willing to haggle some. A lot of the cars are “program cars” which means they have had regular maintenance and have the records too. They even ran a Car-Fax report for us. Good Luck!!!
Angela,
I almost cried reading your post. I was rear ended recently and cannot even drive through that intersection anymore from the stress. I am so happy that your husband is ok. Be kind to yourself. We all have our moments and my reaction would have been the exact same as yours – even after having been in an accident! Your candor is what makes you and your blog so sweet. It’s real. That’s how life is. Count your blessings and keep on. Thank you for your wonderful blog. I look forward to it – especially after a crappy day in my life
Thank you, Laura! Hope you have a better day today.
As I was reading your post I immediately recalled the phone call I got from my hubby 1.5yrs ago. I had gone to dinner w/ my sisters and he took the boys to chuck e cheese. As I was getting ready to drive home he called & said he & the boys were in an accident & I needed to come home. I couldn’t get him to really tell me if he & the boys were ok (think he was still in a lil shock). It was the longest 40 minutes of my life. When I got there I was crying & just hugging all of them. Our vehicle was totaled (was paid off for 4-5yrs and a very reliable ride) so we knew car payments would be in our future. Yes…I was upset about our vehicle and now trying to find hundreds of $$$ to pay for a new one & yes I was upset with the driver who ran a red light that totaled our car. But…I was also thankful I kept my 1.5yr old rear facing even though he was old & big enough to forward face in his carseat. I am also thankful our new vehicle (minus the 5yrs to pay off) has top safety features & seats 7. Lastly, I am thankful that I am able to see my family for another day, week, month, year…
Glad to hear that despite all the negative you also get to see your husband for another day, etc. Thanks for the post.
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