In the April edition of Martha Stewart Living magazine, Martha demonstrated the proper way to clean a dirty stove. The only problem? The stove she was scouring was already really clean to begin with. So today I wanted to show you how to clean a REALLY dirty appliance. My refrigerator. Martha Stewart, take note.
Step One. Gather the necessary supplies.
Step Two. Brace yourself. Make sure all small children are far away from the door when you open it, lest falling objects strike them and render them unconscious.
Step Three. Take a deep breath and repeat, “it’s just a kitchen appliance, it’s just a kitchen appliance” until you feel your heart rate return to normal. If that doesn’t do the trick, you might need to get a half price Frappuccino.
Step Four. Remove the first shelf and its contents.
Step Five. Clean the shelf, and inspect the food items for expiration dates.
Houston! We have a problem!
Step Six. Take time out to pat yourself on the back for the progress you’ve begun to make. Your mother would be proud!
Step Seven. Next it’s time to throw out any UFO (unidentified furry object).
Step Eight. Clean up the chocolate pudding that you just knocked over. Whoopsies.
Step Nine. Stand back and admire your work! You really have that domestic touch, don’t you?
There you have it. One spotless fridge in 9 easy steps. I don’t think Martha could’ve done it any better, do you?
PS. Ms. Stewart, if you are reading this and like what you see, you can email me at thecouponproject at hotmail dot com. Sure, I’d be happy to share my knowledge with your Martha Stewart Living readers and inspire them to achieve domestic greatness.